there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
