Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
