oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
