All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
