Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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