I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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