Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
