I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
