Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
