I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
