you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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