i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
