I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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