Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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