Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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