i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize