Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
