he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
