My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
