i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize