In the future we'll all be gay
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
