If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He shit in the fireplace
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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