Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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