And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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