Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
