that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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