Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
