You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
