I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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