He is an equal opportunity slut.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
