dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
