you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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