I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
