can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Too much gin, very little bucket
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
