i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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