# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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