please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
