U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
