erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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