they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
