Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize