Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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