32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
