Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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