All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do vagina's smell?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
