Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
