Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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