What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
