She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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