Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
