It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
