her vagine was all disorganized.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
