boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
