why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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