watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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