Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
