why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
