very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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