My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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