if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize