I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
