i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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