You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
