If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
