Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
