She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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