Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize