Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
