Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish my penis had an off switch
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
