Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
