on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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